It Always Ended Up Like This
by InDeppth
Summary: REAL PPERSON FIC -No one knew what it was that made Noel feel so detached at social gatherings or main events of their own such as these. He wasn't even sure. All he knew was that his constant need for Julian grew but so did his want to be left alone.


**_Disclaimer: I do not own The Mighty Boosh, Noel Fielding, Julian Barratt or any of its/their affiliates._**

**_A/N: Saw a post (hauntedmuffin-DOT-tumblr-DOT-com/post/4412231921 ) on Tumblr and it immediately inspired me to write this. Chugged it out in an hour. I've proof read it but that's about it. Don't really know what else to say…_**

It Always Ended Up Like This

Music thrumming in his ears as he dances around the stage, black makeup running off his face and down the ragged nana dress that had become a trade mark of his as of late. The wig still tightly pinned to his head, shaking it about and making that disastrously low voice into the microphone. The crowd of fans screaming and singing along to the songs they knew before they had re-mastered them and made them more extravagant. Julian was beside him, working the guitar he knew so well to create sounds that had always sent shivers down Noel's spine and made his performance grow.

A kick of a microphone stand and a last rasp into the mic was the signal that the final song of the show had finished and Noel collapsed into a ball on his knees on the stage, heaving and feeling the aftershocks and adrenaline rush that he knew he would never get used to or tire of. He squeezed his eyes shut, pushing the almost non-existent makeup from his eyes and he failed to notice the curtain close in front of him, just barely missing his head.

The others cheered and jumped about ready to go out for a night on the town, not bothering to see what Noel was doing. This had become a part of each show; him on the floor for however long he needed to be or until the theatre staff kicked him out. He felt the others footsteps finally fade and he slowly opened his eyes to see the blue backstage light filling up the space around him. He uncoiled himself and lay outstretched on his back, hand on chest, breaths still heaving and eyes wide open, staring up into the blue lights and darkness above him.

He wasn't going out with the others tonight. He didn't remember the last time he had. After the first month on tour he seemed to withdraw himself from all human contact except when he was in dire need and Julian was always happy to comply, knowing it was Noel and it was what he needed. Their times on tour always seemed more farfetched and the relationship between them faltered because of Noel's distance and constant depression. No one knew what it was that made him feel so detached at social gatherings or main events of their own such as these. _He_ wasn't even sure. All he knew was that his constant need for Julian grew but so did his want to be left alone.

The lights above him faded softly and he wasn't sure if they had been turned off or if he had fallen asleep. Hearing a throat clearing above him he decided it was the latter and slowly opened his eyes to a silhouette above him, he couldn't make out the face but from the large and recognizable figure he assumed it was Julian. Normally he would have beamed a smile up at him but he didn't feel it was necessary or that he could be bothered to feign such a look for fear of misunderstanding. Julian didn't say a word but instead held out his hand, looking for Noel to hold onto it and rise to his feet. He propped himself up on his elbows and squinted up at his dark face, wishing he could at least see some part of Julian's hidden features.

He outstretched an arm and grabbed a hold of the protruding hand as it hoisted him up onto his feet. Noel didn't think he could ever get used to the height difference between them, even with boots on. It really showed who was the superior one out of the two – obviously Julian - as much as Noel liked to think otherwise he knew this was true. Seeing Julian's eyes sparkle with the blue light reflecting out of them he could make out parts of his features, pointedly his mouth. Leaning forward quickly but not forcefully or eagerly, Noel captured Julian's lips in a quick gentle kiss. He felt the larger man go rigid beneath him. _This isn't what I came back for_, he thought but remained there, letting Noel have what he wanted. Noel, not wishing to go any further, had his tongue remain in his mouth as did his arms at his sides. This would be as close they would get to each other this week, it was the same as last week and the weeks before. Only sometimes when Noel was a mental and physical wreck did he seek more from his best friend who gave him what he wanted in hope that it would help him regain his normal personality or at least keep him sane until the next time he came searching.

Pulling back and resting onto his feet Noel looked up at Julian and then turned to head in the direction of the exit. Julian's sigh was barely audible but Noel heard it and the foot steps behind him kept their distance as they followed him out of the building. Cold air swarming around his practically nude body as he they stepped out onto the street, his only clothing being the nana dress, wig and boots. He didn't say anything though but instead crossed his arms in front of his chest and walked, keeping his head down out of the night wind. Julian saw his stubbornness and realized that if he didn't do anything Noel would most likely remain that way until he got back to the hotel and so took his jacket from his own shoulders and wrapped it around the shaking ones of Noel.

Noel nodded in a thank you, although his head remained forward but Julian knew it was for him, and grabbed the sides of the jacket to wrap them closer around his shuddering body. Julian walked closer and wrapped and arm around Noel to pull him closer to himself, sharing his body heat in hopes of preventing illness that he knew the smaller man was prone to.

Seeing the hotel sign just up ahead he quickened their pace and rushed them into the immediate heat that the reception area provided. Noel collapsed against him, losing all control of his footing as he attempted to make his way up the stairs to their rooms. Julian scooped him up in a fashion that a groom might do to his newly-wed wife and carried the limp figure to his room, he himself having the key to open it. They never had a night apart regardless of the separate rooms. Carrying him through the doorway and closing the door with the back of his foot, he took Noel to the bedroom and lay him down on the bed. Noel wasn't asleep, he knew that, but he also knew he couldn't do anything. At times like these he never could and Julian was left to fend for him.

Quickly pulling the gold boots from his friend's tired feet, working his way through all other attire until he was completely bare, taking extra care with the pins in the wig. He pulled the duvet back and shuffled in next to Noel, he himself still fully clothed with boots and all; knowing this is how Noel wanted it. Knowing this is how Noel _always _wanted it. His vulnerable and naked form pressed tightly – _needingly_ – to Julian's as he clutched at the remaining clothes and cried. Julian never asked questions, never felt the need to. He only wished he knew how it always ended up like this.


End file.
